“A friend isn’t just who they are to you, but who you are and who you feel you can be when you’re with them“
Please Don’t Hug Me is the story of Erin and her final year of high school. Like many teens, she is figuring out who she is and what kind of person she wants to be. With that struggle in mind, Erin is writing to her brother, Rudy, who went away almost a year ago, who she misses a lot.
Erin’s story is told from her letters to Rudy. This is the book’s main structure. Her letters are quirky, funny and sometimes sad as Erin navigates her senior year and the trials that come with it. Through Erin, we explore friendships, dating, living with Autism as well as difficult topics, like death. As time is going forward through her letters, we see Erin growing and evolving as a young person, and the beginning of glimpses into the adult she’s becoming.
“If something makes you feel good you should wear it, really. People want to make us think liking clothes is frivolous and unimportant, but it’s an art form as much as painting or writing or singing. Clothes are our armour“
One part I loved reading was Erin’s changing relationships with friends. As her final year progresses, Erin starts to question how she and her friends fit together in the world. This is part of growing up. Many young adults are facing similar as they leave their teens, and I know I did too. I love that Kerr explored this, and how she positioned Erin’s friendship circle. In particular, I loved Aggie and the friendship she and Erin develop over the course of the story. For me, this was one of my favourite parts of the book.
This is an Own Voices YA novel. Erin is a teenager with Autism and the author, Kay Kerr is a person with Autism. Telling this story from that close insider’s perspective was moving and powerful. Honestly, it taught me something about what they mean when they tell writers to “write what they know”. Kerr understands life with Autism deeply and intimately. This shines through Erin’s letters, making her character more real. I believe many teenagers and adults on the spectrum would identify and relate to Erin as we get to know her in the book.
“Maybe it’s okay to have brain wires that make you fidgety and bad at eye contact, as long as you tell the truth and don’t hurt the people you love and say sorry if you do and do something nice for your friends when they’re sad. It might not sound like a lot, but it is“
This is a well-written YA novel with just enough to keep people of a variety of ages engaged. It definitely had highs and lows and stirred up some forgotten feelings about growing up for me. I love recommending books or buying books for friends with a thought to something they’re currently facing, and I’ll keep this one in mind for any teenagers I come across.
